Can I play too? Anywhere at all after The Way Back ... bring back Dev Tarrant. Keep Jenna's and Vila's slightly unsettling/agressive edges, and give Gan some too.
Spacefall - give poor Nova a respectable amount of mousse to drown in. And do NOT make space helmets out of battered colanders (yes, Raiker, I do mean you ...)
Cygnus Alpha - Brian Blessed's outfit needs a couple more touches, like non-giggle-worthy shoes. And a gag. A large one. Oh, and maybe touch on the fact that Blake - having just gone through what is heavily implied to be medieval style torture - could have taken more than fifteen minutes (if that?) to recover?
The Web - Pitch Saymon (preferably into a ditch. A large one). Expand the Cally-being-taken-over story to expound on Avon & Jenna's ideas about pitching *her*.
SLD - more Bercol and Rontane, please.
Duel - as I've said before, make *Vilakins* the one picked to demonstrate the death of a friend (his enthusiasm for the idea - and the scenes with him and the mutoid - would have been priceless).
Breakdown - yes, I know he's fun, but make Kayn (as one of the very few people - outside the power structure - who actually see the Federation as A Good Thing) less one-sidedly odious. Would give the thing a touch more complexity. Also put a gag on David Jackson in the grunting scenes.
Deliverance - have also said this before. Have Jenna being abducted by tall, chiffon-bedecked Greek God-types, and Avon having a massive, ugly, hairy barbarian throwing his-or-her animal-skin-covered self at his feet.
Orac - save the goldfish (okay, okay, so I'm sentimental, so sue me).
Weapon - yes, I agree. IMIPAK is silly. And get rid of the Lobster Top!!!!! (If necessary, by ripping it off him bodily ...) Explain *someone's* rather noticeable face/body/voice/character/eyepatch transplant.
Horizon - Have lots more of the early "let's all be one big crabby family" scenes <g> Shoot Selma immediately. Get rid of the nosecam when Blake's being tortured.
Pressure Point - speak severely to the costume director, put Avon back in the silver, Vila in the black short from Weapon and Jenna in something just as blue but less impractical. And whose idea was Servalan's costume change after capture?!?!?
Trial - see SLD.
Killer - deal with the fact that Our Heroes didn't catch the bug. Let Dr Bellfriar /Gambrill/Tynus/even Dr Wiler survive and join Our Heroes (lovely set of guests this one has).
Hostage - hire someone else completely to play Inga, and give her some decent cold-weather clothes. Do something about the stupidity-gas in the Exbar air and let Our Heroes *shoot* the baddies rather than push polystyrene rocks on them. Explain slowly and carefully to Brian Croucher that this is not a Victorian melodrama and he is not Dick Dastardly.
Countdown - less of Del Grant, more of Provine.
Voice - make the storyline make sense, cut it down and show what happened afterwards. Substitute Alta Morag for Ven Glyn. Explain slowly and carefully to Brian Croucher that and he is not Boris Karloff playing The Mummy in a bathrobe.
Star One - almost perfect IMO, but the garage or potting shed might have made a better battleship-yard than the kitchen.
After Star One - have Zen's search-and-rescue program (aka 'let's turn me into a dumping ground for stray waifs') go a bit skewed, so instead of listening to Orac and picking up Our Heroes, he collects a brand-new seven fleeing from Freedom City (which got dented by a passing Andromedan fruit juicer) - Krantor and Toise, the Klute, Chenie, Jarriere, a paratrooper in a nun's habit (wrong fandom?) and one of those Sheiks of Arabeee ...
Alternately, Powerplay - bring Fearless Leader back (yes, yes, what do you expect from moi? This is a *fantasy* edit, after all ...) Have the new President cut up for spare parts, just for fun (we could always meet the happy recipient of her brain later :-))
Dawn of the Gods - ummm ... no. Use for Rod-Rocket-and-the-Space-Nickers filler instead.
The Harvest of Kairos - kill Jarvik fifty minutes earlier. Put Avon in the red trousers from DoTG so that we don't lose *those* scenes (they'd probably make just as much sense here, come to think of it). Show us what [a] Vila, [b] Tarrant and [c] Avon saw when looking at the Sopron (oh oh and what about Servalan?) Let Dayna keep Brian the Spider as a pet.
Rumours of Death - hire someone else to play Anna, redo those awful misty Wromantic and totally Wrong memories of Avon's to make them more Avonish.
Ultraworld - hand out pillows all round so we can also go to sleep in comfort ... or alternately, have the bodies going into the Core stripped first (as would be logical, methinks?) Given that it's Cally and Avon we're talking about, that should wake up a goodly few of the audience ...
Moloch - thump Cally and Tarrant till they behave better. Have Moloch designed by your average 10-year-old Warhammer enthusiast for a *vastly* more authentic-looking alien ... and dump on Avon more at the end (not 'cause he's behaving badly, just 'cause it's fun).
Death-Watch - someone speak *severely* to Zen about the clothes he/it's doling out at this stage. Keep Deeta.
Terminal - get rid of the links (what earthly purpose do they serve in the story, BTW?)
Rescue - explain how Dorian knew where to find them. Cover up the plagiarism a little bit better :-) DON'T have Dayna screaming and quivering in Tarrant's arms at the end!!!!
Power - shoot Ben Steed. Pretend that it was all Vila's bad-wine-induced dream.
Stardrive - pretend it never happened.
Animals - listen to Una a bit more. Or a lot more. Or pretend that it's Our Heroes putting on a show for the Rebel Scum Ltd Galactic Coarse Acting Contest ...
Assassin - explain to My Darling that slaves - especially being auctioned in a hot desert - are supposed to be dressed in chains and loincloths and ... oops, wrong list :-) Have Soolin clip Tarrant across the ear for *that* crack. Have Tarrant aim a few more cracks Avon-wards. Kill Piri just before we meet her and make Neebrox the assassin instead.
Sand - if Tarrant and Servie must (despite her hand in the deaths of his brother and crewmate), they must, but do they have to act all cutesy about it? Ick. Let the sand bury the pair of them. OTOH, let's hear more of Orac's rhapsodising ...
Orbit - feed Avon valium for the first half, to calm him down a bit. At least give a nod to the various ways they *could* have escaped without resorting to Vila's Ultimate Sacrifice) ...
Warlord - let Tarrant/Soolin's plan for keeping Zeeona on Zenon at least make some sense, and give us some hint why Soolin's doing something so daft. Burn the pink wig. And give the warlords some acting lessons <g>
Blake - some more detail about where Blake's been/what he's been doing would be nice, but so is the enigma ... no, seriously, despite its flaws, and the shudders I get every time I watch it, I don't know that I'd change it ...
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