Harriet Bazley wrote:
here's my attempt at a more plausible re-rendering, from Vila's point of view.
<snip>
Bravo! Thank you, Harriet! This is exactly what I had in mind. The same premise, the same emotion, but much more subtlety, much better writing style. Needless to say,
"Avon has a remarkable talent for self-preservation." Blake's face was as stubbornly shuttered now as Avon's own.
"Yes -- when he wants."
is now really poignant, unlike,
"Right now he's planning to go out and get caught--because he knows they'll kill him and because that's easier than living with what you did to him just now."
which IMO was completely banal.
Admittedly, it's very hard to please me when it comes to fanfic. My ideal fanfic would be a mixture of adventure and angst focusing on Blake.
Oh yes!
So I'm not alone after all...
N.