Jen McGee wrote:
I'm working on a lot of Vila dialogue and internal monologue right now, and I'm really struggling with this. I know he doesn't speak "American," but any efforts to make him use the right style of language come across as...well...as an American trying to write what she *thinks* British sounds like. He sounds like a bad imitation of a Monty Python skit, full of cliched phrases and forced lines. Especially the indelicate interjections someone like Vila would surely make--I just can't use "bloody," "arse," or "sod" without it sounding desperately stilted. Or like I'm throwing in the little Brit lingo I know to "make it sound real." Either way it jars the scene out of believability for me. Frustrating.
Part of your problem is that there was very little swearing in the series. Vila said 'hell' a few times ("Let's get the dignified hell out of here!"), and I can quite hear him saying 'sod' or 'bastard' (in fact in my current fiction he does), but not 'arse' (or at least not out loud) as it just isn't the type of language used in B7. I also found I'd made him say OK a lot, and had to go through changing that to 'all right', which in all cases was fine. And 'guess' to 'suppose'.
Due to TV, I speak mid-Atlantic, a mixture of both US and British English with some NZ special terms - e.g. I've had to ensure that they use specific British terms - e.g. 'trunks' or 'costumes' to go swimming in rather than 'togs'.
Another thing Vila does is to use different grammar - he often misses out pronouns and other words - "Don't like the look of that" - and/or inverts sentence structure - "Bit mean, I call that!" That could make your language a bit more Vila-like!
Nico
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Nico said:
I also found I'd made him say OK a lot, and had to go through changing that to 'all right', which in all cases was fine. And 'guess' to 'suppose'.
Oh dear, Vila wouldn't say "guess"? [Jen sighs and prepared to go home and use the "find and replace" function, as Vila seems to start half his sentences with "I guess" right now]
Due to TV, I speak mid-Atlantic, a mixture of both US and British English with some NZ special terms - e.g. I've had to ensure that they use specific British terms - e.g. 'trunks' or 'costumes' to go swimming in rather than 'togs'.
Writing the B7 crew in swimwear boggles my beginning writer's imagination entirely. I guess [see, there I go again!] I can see Vila in something baggy and colorful, Soolin in a silvery bikini, and Cally in a red one-piece, but when I hit the other men especially I blank. The scattered images I get are almost entirely indescribable.
But thanks for inspiring them!
Jen in Japan "I was a late developer." --Blake, "Horizon"
On Tue, Nov 27, 2001 at 10:34:52AM +0900, Jen McGee wrote:
Nico said:
I also found I'd made him say OK a lot, and had to go through changing that to 'all right', which in all cases was fine. And 'guess' to 'suppose'.
Oh dear, Vila wouldn't say "guess"? [Jen sighs and prepared to go home and use the "find and replace" function, as Vila seems to start half his sentences with "I guess" right now]
(kathryn scratches head) Why wouldn't Vila say "I guess"?
At 14:19 27/11/01 +1300, Nico wrote:
Part of your problem is that there was very little swearing in the series. Vila said 'hell' a few times ("Let's get the dignified hell out of here!"), and I can quite hear him saying 'sod' or 'bastard' (in fact in my current fiction he does), but not 'arse' (or at least not out loud) as it just isn't the type of language used in B7.
Thanks to tireless research on the transcripts, I present the Complete Guide to Swearing in B7. This includes only 'real' swearing--no sons of slimecrawlers need apply. As a bonus, because it's in the same file, you also get the Guide to Pleasing, which isn't as Other List as it sounds.
Avon: hell 17, damn 5, please 7 (of which 1 is "next, please", 2 are to Shrinker, and two are whilst obviously lying.)
Blake: hell 3, damn 4, please 14 (of which 2 to Zen)
Tarrant: hell 8, damn 6, please 4
Vila: hell 10, damn 3, god 2, please 11 (of which 1 to Zen)
Soolin: hell 1, please 3
Dayna: hell 1, please 4
Jenna: damn 1, please 13
Cally: please 14
The majority of 'pleases' by all crew are requests for teleport. I also have the list of 'thank yous', although this is a little more difficult to interpret, because many of them are obviously not sincerely meant. I've tried to divide them up into sincere/(insincere, sarcastic, deceptive, etc). I'm not sure whether the differences represent attitude, or simply that some characters have more to be grateful for than others.
Avon: thanks: 1 in the entire first two series (Pressure Point) 5 (in Aftermath alone) 8 (rest of series 3&4)/13
Blake: thanks: 27/5
Tarrant: thanks: 2 (to Zen) 5/3
Vila: thanks: 14/9
Gan: thanks: 2/1
Soolin: thanks: 0/1
Dayna: thanks: 5/4
Jenna: thanks: 5/4
Cally: thanks: 10/0
Obviously, all these numbers *really* need the total words of dialogue spoken by each character in order to be terribly meaningful, and I don't have that info available. Does anyone else have those figures?
love Anna
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Anna Simpson -
Jen McGee -
Kathryn Andersen -
Leia Fee -
Nicola Mody-Nikoloff