Sally Manton wrote:
> You have three
> - and *only* three - wishes to give out among Our Heroes. No
> budgetary or
> plausibility limits, but stuff they actually ended up with is
> out (so don't
> give Avon the Liberator, we already *know* what he did with it).
>
> Who would you give the wishes to, and what would they be?
When the Christmas fairy shimmered into being on the Scorpio's flight deck,
Avon's first thought was that the Federation had developed a teleport. His
second was that Servalan had outdone herself in pink gauze with iridescent
translucent wings. His third was that Vila had slipped something
hallucinogenic into Dorian's wine.
"Oh, dear," said the Christmas fairy, "five of you. I've only got three
wishes." Four faces looked highly suspicious, but Vila leapt forward
eagerly.
"I wish I lived on a peaceful planet by the sea and had lots of kids," he
said rapidly, not really expecting anything to happen.
In a flash he was on Kaarn, reeling from the noise of 5000 Auron babies,
about half of them crying, and the assault of 5000 chaotic baby thoughts. Dr
Franton and Patar looked frazzled. "Vila!" cried Dr Franton in delight. "How
lovely of you to drop in. Several hundred children need changing right now."
"Oh, shit!" Vila said accurately. "I wish I was back on the Scorpio!"
He was.
The fairy was backed up against the wall by Avon at his most intimidating.
"What have you done with Vila?" he demanded. He knew what he would ask for -
to be so rich no-one could touch him - but he had no intention of charging
in where fools had not feared to tread until he had more data. Behind him,
Tarrant smiled happily, dreaming of command of the best ship in the galaxy,
and Soolin (who wanted to be a notorious Terra Nostra hit-girl) and Dayna
(who wanted to blow up the biggest thing in existence) surreptitiously felt
for their guns to take out the rest of the crew.
"He's back - look for yourself." Avon whirled to see a very
disoriented-looking Vila. "Um, who would like the last wish?" the fairy
ventured nervously.
"The last wish?" Avon's eyes narrowed. "You promised three."
"Vila used the second one to get back here."
The rest of the crew said as one, "Vila!" and advanced threateningly on the
hapless thief, who backed into Slave, thinking that asking to come back was
possibly the biggest mistake of his life. "Oh, I wish none of this had ever
happened," he muttered miserably.
Everyone found themselves glaring at Vila, obscurely angry with him, and
Vila stared back, wondering why he felt so guilty. "Um, glass of wine,
anyone?"
Nico
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